Dan Price (thwack) wrote,
Dan Price

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Who Wants Chocolate?

At the RIT hockey game Friday night, I witnessed the most awesome fundraising pitch ever...

I was sitting with my friends in the Corner Crew, which is a crowd of people who gather in a corner of the stands and fill the arena with organized rowdiness. We have a collection of memorized cheers that are usually lead off by either "Big Goon" or "Stick Boy", two of the loudest guys I've ever known.

In the middle of the game, some girls came around the stands selling chocolate bars as a fundraiser. One of them went down one of the corner crew aisles and tried to announce her cause to the whole crew. She was immediately shown up for volume by Stick Boy, who then took pity on her and asked her to come down front. She told him what the fundraiser is for, and at the next break of play, he yelled it loud and clear for all to hear... she was fundraising for her dance school. The response was underwhelming. In fact, not a single person showed any interested in buying a chocolate bar from this girl. However, members of the corner crew then started demanding that they see her dance for us if we're going to buy her chocolate bars. Stick Boy then said:

"You want to see her dance? ('Yeah!') All right, she's gonna dance for us... but FIRST we need to help her sell her entire box of chocolate bars. Now, who wants some chocolate?"

At least a dozen men then stood up to reach into their pockets. It was like a scene right out of Love Potion No. 9. Her box of chocolate bars was gone within 3 minutes.

She danced, and there was much rejoicing. :)
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