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Funny Mail
Today I got two pieces of mail:

Letter #1 <shaffer>Letter #1!</shaffer>: Dear Dan, we regret that we recently discovered that computer tapes that contained your name, address and credit card account number were mistakenly identified as trash and thrown out. We're sorry, blah blah blah, please don't leave us. Sincerely, credit card company A, which has shafted me with all sorts of poor customer service resulting in stupid fees ever since I put my plasma TV on their card.

Letter #2 <shaffer>Letter #2!</shaffer>: Dear Dan, as a valued cardmember you can apply for an additional no-annual-fee account that gives you an unbeatable 0% APR FOR LIFE on transferred balances. Just sayin'. Sincerely, credit card company B.